Letting Go
by quintessentially-literary
Summary: With so much death in their lives, what was there left to live for? Set Post-Season 3 Christmas Special.


**Letting Go**

**Disclaimer: Characters are the creation of Julian Fellowes, I'm just borrowing them.**

**Spoilers: Set straight after the Season 3 Christmas Special**

**Summary: With so much death in their lives, what was there left to live for?  
M Rated folks, that's right, femmeslash be here, if you've got a problem with then you shouldn't be here.  
Reviews are lovely, especially in my first foray into a new fandom. But tips and advice are always welcome. Constructive criticism, no flame. Thanks - Q**

* * *

Death had become a close companion over the years as it continued to come knocking at the great oak door of Downton Abbey. She could never forget being surrounded by so much death. She had thought that lying on a stone cold floor, drenched in water and her own blood would have been the closest she came to feeling death's grip inside her body until her own life came to an end. Feeling the child she had begun to nurture slip from her body had pulled her from the inside until she thought that all would be left was a shell. But her maid had been there, whispers in her ear and soothing caresses to her back to help her through the pain. The only thing that seemed to keep her grounded to anything beyond the cold.

* * *

Then the war had come and death seemed to be around everyone once more but she seemed to flourish despite it. She suddenly felt needed in a way that she hadn't before while her husband continued to spiral downwards. But then death had come for her, and when she had thought that she would never pull through the heavy tide that seemed to press down like a vice on her chest, she arose once more with her husband and her maid firmly at her side. She saw something pass between them. A gratefulness from Robert to O'Brien which she would have laughed at had she the strength. And yet, there was something dark behind her maid's eyes, beneath the barely concealed pleasure at each new gasp for air Cora seemed to pull inwards. She could still feel death nearby, lurking in the corner of the room and she managed to scramble a sentence together and was bombarded by sadness at the quiet murmur from her husband.

"Lavinia took a turn for the worse."

Guilt swept through her already fatigued body and she felt her leaden limbs try to bury themselves further into her sheets. She felt a soft cloth at her forehead and then a pat on her hand. Soon footsteps echoed down the hallways but the cool cloth remained at her head. She felt cool drops slide down from the rough material along her skin and hoped that they masked the tears that slipped from beneath her eyelids.

"Sssh, it's going to be fine milady. You're going t'be fine," the soothing voice whispered as she caressed her hair.

"You're so good to me O'Brien, always so good to me."

"Sssh, you rest now milady." She felt herself sway amongst the heavy waves that swarmed around the death-filled house but remained anchored within the choppy waters by her maid.

* * *

The loss of her unborn son had torn at her heart but she did not realise that one tragedy could be consumed wholly by another. Sybil. Her golden-hearted and beautiful baby girl lay cold and grey before her. She'd been a small and quiet baby and now she seemed even smaller. Her bubbling laughter and her inquisitive eyes seemed to become more evanescent the more the harder she tried to burn the sounds and images into her skull.

She shouldn't be lying there. She was supposed to protect her always and she hadn't stepped in when her baby had needed her the most. She was vaguely aware of Mary leaving her and then Edith entering to get her to leave again. But she would not move. This time she was not going to leave Sybil for others to step in and make the wrong decisions.

She felt the hard wood of the chair press into her flesh through the thin material of her gown. The wisps of death's frozen breath seemed to circle her until she felt as lifeless as the shell of her daughter which lay before her.

"Milady," soft footsteps came behind her and a warm hand burnt her shoulder. "Milady you need to go to bed."

"I can't," her voice broke as she tried to get the words to be loud enough. She felt hands surround her and pull her up and she was soon being moved towards her bedroom by her maid. The delicateness of her movements and footsteps though made it feel like yet _another _funeral procession. This would be the procession where O'Brien would be allowed to hold her up, unlike the official affair where she would have to attempt to come together with her husband in the household's grief.

She felt herself pushed into a sitting position as her maid removed her slippers before gently lifting her legs up on to the bed. As much as she was used to being dressed and undressed in such a way, O'Brien's gentle movements wrapped her in a warmth she knew was from more than the extra blankets she had already placed there. Cora could not sleep and was grateful for the constant presence of her maid who once again kept a vigil by her bed whilst her husband was elsewhere. Only this time he was banished from her room rather than seeing to Tom Branson.

She choked on new tears and knew that her maid had heard them as she felt a hand stroke her hair after some hesitation. She had to make things alright for Tom and the baby, now that she'd failed her daughter she needed to do right by her granddaughter and that would mean looking after Tom too. For all their social differences they were now brought together through a mutual tearing of their hearts. In this new-found kinship they would go against her husband and all he stood for. They would do what was best for the baby, leading the charge against Robert. And O'Brien would be silently waiting in the background, making sure that Cora would be fine. Of this she was sure.

* * *

While the initial anger had abated between her and Robert she still felt as far removed from him as ever. She had known the lengths her mother-in-law would go to in order to lessen any pain for her son. Just as Cora knew the extents she would go to for her children. She'd carried a dead body for one child, comforted another in the face of public embarrassment and she'd supported one daughter's dreams in the face of her overbearing husband. Throughout them all Sarah had been present, not always agreeing with her choices and sometimes not being aware of them, but always she was there to support her.

* * *

It had been a shock to all of them when news of Matthew's death reached them. Just as a child was born another was torn away. She looked at Robert's grief detached as her thoughts went to Mary and to Isobel. They were the ones who would truly feel this grief. They would mourn the man not the representative of a family and the heir.

Mary had finally got her dream life with someone who accepted her with all her flaws, not asking the impossible of her and never making her feel worthless if she did not share the same ideas. And yet here she was punished by Fortune's cruel sense of humour. Both her grandchildren's births were marred now. Birthdays would not be celebrated without remembering the reality of it all. The same had happened for Sybil and Tom. Two people fighting for their choices, for freedom. This wasn't even a freedom worthy of great history books – freedom from oppression or tyranny, just a freedom to love who they loved without consequences and there they all were. Punished by some greater force in which she no longer believed.

She left the library and walked past a despondent Edith. If only her daughters would come together in times that weren't so tainted with such sadness. She marched up the stairs, each step seeming to bear down on her as she pushed through the thick fog of confusion clouding her brain.

* * *

The door to her room creaked loudly in the silence that had settled over the house. Her maid tinkered about in the adjoining bathroom and she heard her humming softly to herself. She didn't recognise the tune but it swirled around the room in defiance of all the death the house had seen.

"O'Brien," her voice sounded deafening in her head. The humming stopped and in entered her maid looking confused and embarrassed.

"I'm sorry milady I didn't realise you would be up so soon. Have you heard from Mr Crawley yet?"

O'Brien was not someone she knew to be overcome with the excitement a new baby brought but Cora could tell that this curiosity was born from a need for her to be happy and not Sarah's own happiness.

"Mr," her voice stuck in her throat coming thick like treacle and her eyes opened wide in panic thinking she would not get another breath out. Her maid was instantly by her side as her knees shook beneath her.

"This way milady," she was soon perched on the bed with her maid feeling her forehead and searching her eyes for any signs for what was going on with her. "Is everything alright milady? Is it Lady Mary?"

"No, no Mary's fine. It's Matthew he" her voice was monotonous as finally spoke the words aloud, "he died, a car accident on the way here." The words filled the space between Lady and maid as each tried to come to terms with the latest tragedy. Her maid then kneeled at her feet and the concern in her eyes astounded Cora.

"Tell me what I can do milady."

"I'm tired O'Brien."

"I'll close the curtains and you can lie down milady. No one will mind."

"No."

"No milady?"

"I'm tired of all of this, of being the perfect wife and mother for it to all come falling apart around me."

"Milady, this is just the grief everyone goes through this."

"But how many times must I go through this to fall into the same old patterns and have the same ideas thrust upon me. There is no reward for doing good in this world. We know that, just look at all the deaths we've seen, the war. You can't tell me that this is a fair world."

"No milady, but we have to get by the best we can. That's what it's all about."

"What if I don't want to walk this path anymore? What if I'm sick of following a predetermined walk of life if there is no real reason for, for any of it?"

Her maid stood up and was silhouetted by the light shining in through the window. "Because it is the right thing to do," her posture belied her words, the fatigue of their lives weighing down on both of the women.

"Really? Is it? Look at Sybil. She didn't do the 'right' thing and for a short time she was happy. Mary did the 'right' thing when she married Matthew and it's all in pieces around her now. There's no right and wrong, not in this world. And Edith, poor Edith. I don't think she ever does the right or wrong thing. I think she is too caught up in not knowing what to do that she's becoming immobile."

O'Brien gave a non-committal hum and Cora suspected that it was caused by her maid's favoritism of her middle daughter. Sarah and Edith had rallied together countless times when Edith was a child when too much attention was given to Mary or Sybil. Generally by their father though her own ignorance for her middle child had been a problem before the war. Something she hoped she had corrected.

"You know Edith's editor is in love with her."

"The newspaper editor milady?"

"Yes." Silence once more.

"Is he a good man milady?"

"Oh now_ that_ is the question isn't it O'Brien? He's a very kind and caring man, he's head over heels for Edith. Robert has no idea of course but a mother always knows these things. Always," her voice gained a faraway quality as she seemed to doubt her own maternal abilities.

"P'rhaps that's just what Lady Edith needs right now milady, what with everyone going to be taking care of Lady Mary and the baby." There was not a disapproving note in O'Brien's voice this time when she noted how attention was to be turned from Edith.

"I don't think Edith wants him around. He's married you know."

The silence hung between them. Her maid was unsure whether her mistress wanted her to comment on this breach of protocol or if it was 'perilously close' to crossing that line between maid and friend once again.

"I don't know where his wife is," Cora continued, "but from what Rosamund told me, she's not in the picture. Are there really any vows to be broken, if one of the keepers is absent?"

"I'm not sure I can answer that milady."

"And why not O'Brien?" her voice rose, never had her maid not answered a question when asked directly, in fact, more times than she could count, she had answered a question Cora hadn't even realised she had asked.

"Well, I'm not I mean, I think," her maid floundered before her, it was a rare sight and one she tilted her head trying to work out if it made her feel guilty. A small part of her felt shame at making the woman who had taken care of her for so long feel so obviously out of sorts. But there was a greater part of her; she imagined it was the part of her that still remained resolutely American, always daring to push farther and farther.

"It's a simple question O'Brien."

"I think, that, that it's not my place t'say because I'm not involved. I think, after ev'rything we've seen the past few years, with the war an' all, I think that things like, like love," she seemed to stumble over the word, "that it's nobody's place to say." She breathed in deeply as if the task of getting the words out of her mouth had left her exhausted and out of breath.

"I think you're right there O'Brien. It's nobody's business." Cora stood up in front of her maid so that they were eye to eye. "So tell me, O'Brien, Sarah, if I were to tell you that I'm done with pretending to love my husband that beds any maid that pities him. That I'm through turning away from the one person who has come to mean the world to me. Would you think me mad?"

"I don't know milady," she whispered.

The air between them became thick and heady and she could see her maid visibly shake beneath her gaze. Her hands came up slowly to grasp her maid's face and she marvelled at the soft skin she had never been able to touch.

"I think I am mad to have ignored you for so long my _dear_ Sarah, you've always been so good to me."

Their lips met, barely touching each other then they moved a hairbreadth away and their shallow breath intermingled. Sarah's entire body shook as her eyes stared unwavering into those of the raven haired beauty before her.

"Milady, we shouldn't-"

"No, we should, Sarah, please don't tell me that I've imagined how you look at me. That I've read too much into how much you've cared over the years. That-" Cora's voice choked as she bit back a sob, suddenly afraid that she'd read too much into their relationship.

Seeing her lady so close to finally crumbling to a point where even _she _couldn't bring her back from the precipice. She pulled the broken woman into her and rested her head beside her own. "Ssh, sh love, it's alright. Of course I care fer you." She pulled away and mirrored the image they'd just left as she placed her hands on either side of Cora's face and brushed away at the tears which had managed to escape beneath lidded eyes. "Look at me love, please." Her voice was earnest as she begged the American to open her eyes. "Please," she whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Their lips brushed softly and the salty taste of their tears mingled with the taste of the other woman, foreign and exciting to the senses. Sarah caressed Cora's lower lip with her tongue then pulled away to see her lips darker and moist. She kissed her lower lip again then sucked lightly on it before caressing it once more with her tongue and Cora moaned at the sensations allowing Sarah to caress the other woman's tongue with her own. The taste of the other woman made each woman's head dizzy with the new sensations. They moved apart, foreheads resting together.

"Sarah, my dear Sarah," she smiled into the words and brought her mouth crushing against the other woman's lips suddenly unable to express herself through words. They'd spoken too many words between them and very rarely did it reveal their true meanings. She needed to show her maid now more than ever, how important she was to her.

* * *

Cora moaned at the loss of contact with her maid as she pulled away from her lips. Her disapproval was soon assuaged when her maid began planting feather-light kisses along her jaw bone and up to ear where she whispered "what can I do milady?" The question which she had heard thousands of times before would forever hold a sensual undertone and Cora knew she would never be able to hear the words spoken again without a shiver of desire gliding across her spine.

"Call me Cora, Sarah," she bit back a moan as her maid pulled her earlobe between her teeth and bit lightly before soothing the area with a sweep of her tongue. She moved her mouth upwards and breathed hotly into her ear, "_my _Cora."

Overcome by the thrill of being possessed by her maid she turned her head and crushed their mouths together once more as her hands anchored themselves at the back of Sarah's head. Lips, tongue and teeth danced to the beat of their hearts which threatened to break through their ribs as the freedom to feel the other coursed through their veins.

"Sarah," Cora gasped against her lips, unwilling to part with her, "Sarah I need to feel you." She felt the other woman stiffen against her lips. Pulling back she saw the desire that had darkened her blue eyes but within their depths was an uncertainty she had rarely seen in her maid. So infrequent was its presence that it always provoked a need to protect the other woman from whatever had caused her to falter.

She grasped hold of the other woman's hands, she could feel small calluses where these hands had cared for her for so many years, and the smallness of them belied the strength of the woman who moved assuredly in every task she undertook. She rubbed soothing circles across the tops as she placed a light kiss to the tip of the other woman's nose who closed her eyes at the affection. She placed two more kisses against her eyelids before ghosting along her jaw mimicking Sarah's earlier movements. "Trust in me Sarah." Placing the woman's hands at her hips she moved up to unpin her hair, something she could do but without the finesse and care that her maid could. As she did this she kissed along Sarah's cheekbone and then playfully nipping at her lower lip. She leaned back and let her hair fall down before throwing the pins on to the bedside table, their clatter the only noise in the room other than the shallow breathing of the two women.

"Now you Sarah, please." She gave a reassuring squeeze to the other woman's hands before finally letting go. Her eyes remained locked with the other woman's and she hoped that she could see how much she wanted her to feel safe with her.

* * *

Cora had been naked every day before Sarah but the times that Sarah had even had her hair out of its usual reliable bun could be counted on one hand – and more often than not, those times were times Sarah wished not to dwell at the moment. She moved her own hands into her hair, pulling at the hidden pins in quick succession so as not to dwell on the act itself of revealing more to Cora. Instead she chose to hold Cora's gaze and the care that she drew from them. She soon felt the tension at her scalp ease and the fall of her locks out of their confines drape across her shoulders and down her back. She stepped forward slightly to place her own pins alongside those of her mistress and marvelled at their symmetry.

Moving back once more she felt Cora's heated gaze as she attempted to immortalise this new image of the woman she'd known for nearly two decades. Her hand itched to move forwards but without a sign from her maid she refused to startle her. Instead Sarah made the move by pulling the other woman into her and slanting her mouth over Cora's devouring the woman's giddy cry of surprise. Her hands buried themselves in raven locks so as to anchor her in place, her hold was strong but not painful as if she were afraid to let go of the dream, so unreal did the situation still feel.

She gasped against Cora's sure lips as she felt the other woman's hands glide through her own hair. The new sensation caused a ripple of desire to create tendrils along her scalp and down her back wherever her fingers danced. With an ever-mounting yearning, Sarah drew one hand from Cora's hair and mapped the curve of her spin before resting on her lower back and pulling their bodies intimately closer. Cora delighted in the new feelings provoked by the other woman, for her husband had never caused such a heady need to grip at her with simple caresses. Sarah did not stop now that she could feel how suppliant Cora was of her touch. She moved her hand around to her hip and then glided up along her stomach, even through the corset and blouse she could feel the tightening of her muscles as she moved ever closer to the woman's breasts.

Cora felt the tension in her chest as she tried to move closer to Sarah's questing hand but each move was met by a nip to her lips and an even slower approach until she pulled away in a strangled moan. "Sarah, hasn't anybody told you it's rude to tease."

"I've been called many things but not a 'tease' darling," Sarah smirked as she softly brushed the underside of Cora's breast eliciting a low moan. She then cupped her breast and Cora moved one hand from Sarah's hair to press her closer to her. She could feel the other woman laugh against her lips.

"Cora, have you never heard that patience is a virtue."

"I'm American, my dear O'Brien, we have done away with all those silly English expectations. In fact, I think patience is far too overrated," Sarah shivered at the smirk which accompanied the dark-haired woman's words. The passion in her eyes burnt her nerve-endings. Cora stepped away from her and she immediately felt bereft from the loss of her warm body beneath her hands. She soon felt a new warmth fill the void as Cora began to slowly unbutton her blouse. Sarah was mesmerised by the slow movements of her hands as they revealed more of the woman whose body she had seen almost more than her own. She had never allowed herself more than the look of a maid, to attempt anything else would only have broken her, to have known fully what she could not have. It was all different now, she could look and see all of Cora's beauty with undisciplined eyes and the promise of it had her shaking in her space. She tried to calm herself down but, as Cora's blouse slipped to the floor quickly followed by her skirt, she knew that she would never be able to turn back from that point. She probably would not have been able to turn back from that first kiss, at least not in her heart. She would have let Cora stop it though, it would have broken her but until she was asked to leave she would have stayed. She pushed the dark thoughts aside. Now was not a time for them, it was clear from the way Cora was defiant in her struggle to remove her own corset that this was something she was not turning away from.

"Sarah, loathe as I am to revert to our normal roles, I think, I might, possibly," she huffed puffs of air in-between her exertion, "I need some help with this damn thing!"

"Of course, _my_ lady," she shivered at the new sense the words meant as Sarah moved behind her. "Try not to move Cora and I'll be my speedy self." She ran her hands from her shoulders blades to the base of her spine sending a shiver to run back up the path she had drawn. Loosening the lacing she threaded her arms around the front and danced along the hooks keeping it together. She felt Cora's breasts move beneath her hands with every shaky breath as she got closer to them. As the last hook came apart she grazed her thumbs along the tops of her breasts as she removed the corset. She stooped to collect the skirt and blouse but could not resist placing a delicate kiss to the outer side of Cora's knee. She moved away before Cora could react and lay the clothes over the back of the chair. Turning back around she felt a little disappointed to see that Cora remained in her chemise and had sat down on the bed.

Sarah stood awkwardly at the vanity; her earlier confidence was thrown by the expectant gleam in Cora's eyes. The woman on the bed held out her hand to her and she walked over. Her hands rested in the woman's who proceeded to kiss the fingertips of her right hand, then her palm and then her wrist. She then repeated the movements on the other hand before placing both over her heart. "Let me see you Sarah," she whispered. Sarah nodded but as she moved her hands away Cora knelt up and shook her head. "Let me."

She moved her hands to the many buttons on Sarah's heavy dress but her eyes held those of the other woman. She moved along the buttons at a steady pace trying not to brush the other woman's breasts so as not to startle her despite how much she wanted to. She breathed a sigh of relief when the buttons were done and was helped by the other woman to ease the heavy cloth off of her shoulders, down her arms and into a puddle at her feet. She mirrored Sarah's earlier movements and grabbed at the dress and hurriedly moved to fold it over the edge of the chair before rushing back into her earlier position on the bed.

She realised how fitting it was to be in their arrangement as she looked at Sarah for the first time without the dress which really seemed more fit to the title of 'shroud.' Sarah stood before her more beautiful than the renaissance images she had seen littered about London museums. The corset was meant for a woman like Sarah O'Brien. Her ample bosom strained against its confines and her hips flared out beneath them. Her shoulders were proud and showed a great strength Cora knew she had fought for. She was womanly where Cora felt girlish and she wondered why Sarah was so shy about herself. She had seen her own body for so many years, surely she knew how much more superior she was in their physicality. Perhaps that was one of the many reasons maids had to wear such heavy clothing, not only did it lessen temptation, but it also hid some of their power for what other power did a woman have these days than through her beauty. Sat kneeling before her she felt like a statue in one of Greek museums, a woman praying at the feet of a goddess asking for love.

"You're beautiful Sarah."

"You don't have to say that," she murmured while looking down at their joined hands, "but thank you milady."

Cora felt saddened at Sarah's slip into titles and boundaries. Evidently she didn't believe the words Cora had uttered. "But you are beautiful my dear," she kissed at her temple before moving so they were cheek to cheek, "you are my beautiful Sarah." She drew back and unhooked her corset desperate to remove any doubt from her love's mind. She kissed along her shoulder as she slipped one arm of her chemise down and then the other. She moved back quickly throwing her own over her head and out of sight and for a moment they were both still. They each took in the other's appearance, holding their breath. They took in each other's naked skin. Cora's was like a fine silk over her delicate limbs. Cora marvelled at Sarah's Juno-like stature once more.

Neither knew who moved but they were soon in each other's arms moaning at finally feeling skin on skin. Cora moved her knees out from under and the momentum brought them both falling backwards on to the bed. Sarah covered Cora's body with her own and gasped as they met thighs for thighs, stomach for stomach and chest for chest. Sarah roughly kissed Cora's mouth as she felt their stiffened nipples pressed against each other. She kissed down her neck, nipping and licking at the muscle before nipping along her collarbone. She wanted desperately to mark the other woman, to leave as a reminder that this wasn't a dream but the sensible part of her, that protected Cora, knew she couldn't. Instead she grabbed at Cora's hands which were trying to pull her back up and held them on either side of them. Before Cora could get out of her hold Sarah had bent her head to suck on her nipple. The sensation made Cora buck her hips and Sarah groaned into her breast as she felt the wetness of the other woman's arousal against her thigh. She continued her assault on her breasts biting at the soft underside of her breast before moving to the next. She flicked at the nipple with her tongue before pulling it into her mouth where she worried at the taught flesh with her teeth. Cora let out a deep moan and Sarah felt the vibrations against her stomach. She soothed the area with light kisses before blazing a trail of hot, open mouth kisses down her sternum to pause and dip into her navel causing Cora to quietly giggle. Sarah had released her hands and instead was using the freedom to stroke lazy patterns over Cora's breasts. She circled her nipples before teasing them between her thumb and forefinger. She would repeat the actions as she continued her path down Cora's body.

Cora had acquiesced to Sarah's control and ran her fingers through Sarah's hair. When she felt Sarah moving further down her body she began to panic and tugged lightly at her hair. She saw Sarah look back up to her and became aroused by the sight of her hovering over her sex. Sarah flattened her hand over Cora's heart once more before dipping her head to kiss over her mound. Cora's hips bucked at the new feeling as her husband had never attempted such a thing and she had never dared to ask.

Sarah's eyes remained glued to Cora's as she saw her eyes flutter. She kept the hand over her heart in its place but brought her other hand down to rest on her thigh. She drew lazy circles on Cora's skin moving closer and closer to her womanhood. She continued to place kisses just above Cora's mound as her hand came up to part Cora's wet folds. The heady smell of her arousal made her head dizzy and she finally brought her mouth down to lick along her folds. The taste of the other woman invaded her tongue and Sarah thought that she could drink from Cora for the rest of her life and need nothing else. Her tongue moved in slow, deliberate movements along her folds to dip into her wet channel before moving her hand to slide one finger into Cora's heat. The woman beneath her moaned loudly and she bit on to her thigh lightly to get her attention back to her.

"Ssh, my love." She kept her finger still within her before sliding slowly out. She stared in amazement at the evidence of Cora's arousal for her. Cora's quiet whimpers drew her back into the moment and she pushed back into her with two fingers whilst licking once more to come to the nub she would find. She licked at it slowly causing Cora to buck her hips and Sarah struggled to maintain her slow pace as she felt the tightening of her inner walls against her fingers. She blew air over her heated flesh and Cora tried desperately to quiet herself. She latched on to the nub and sucked on it and she shook as she heard Cora moan even louder. "Love, you have to be quiet." Cora was making little moans in the back of her throat as Sarah's fingers moved within her.

Fearing that Cora would draw attention to their activities she rose from her position, keeping up the steady movement of her fingers, and brought their lips back together in a bruising kiss swallowing each of Cora's moans.

Cora's head was swimming in a tidal wave of pleasure. Her hunger was pooling deep within her stomach as she tasted herself on Sarah's lips and groaned at it. She needed more of whatever Sarah could give her. She pulled the woman further on to her body so she could feel her weight on her own and gasped as the wiry hairs of her sex tickled her thigh. Moving her leg slightly she pushed down on Sarah's lower back and they both moaned as her wet sex pressed into her thigh. She rocked her hips pushing against Sarah and their sweat covered bodies glided against each other. She moved to suck on Sarah's collarbone in a bid to muffle her groan as the other woman entered her with a third finger and curled them in such a delicious way that made her want to scream to the heavens. The heat pooled in her stomach had ignited into a blaze and she tried to focus on the other woman's pleasure. She brought her hand up to finally cup the other woman's breast and pinched the nipple before rolling it in counterpoint with the movement of their hips. By the heavy gasps in her ear she knew that Sarah was as consumed by their lovemaking as she was. She felt her body shaking and bit down further into her collar hoping to leave a mark. A lover's mark that would be hidden from all except them. They rocked and Cora felt the fire explode as she moaned Sarah's name into her neck.

Sarah ground her hips harder into the other woman as she felt her walls tighten around her fingers over and over. The touches to her breast and the exquisite pain where she was sure Cora had marked her drove her closer to the edge. With a sob she felt herself crash back on to Cora and her body shook against the other woman. Cora's arms came around her and held her close.

Cora rolled them until they were on their sides, intertwined limbs giving no hint as to where one woman finished and another started. Her fingers traced over the features of Sarah's face and wiped at the tears that had fallen. Sarah looked at her with glassy eyes and smiled brightly at her kissing the fingers at her lips. They kissed briefly and relaxed into the other's embrace neither willing to break the moment. Sarah stroked Cora's back as Cora fiddled with the curls in her hair.

The dressing gong sounded throughout the house and Cora felt Sarah stiffen beside her.

"Ssh, it's alright, we have plenty of time. Besides, I don't think even Carson can keep so close to schedule today of all days." She rubbed soothingly at her lover's back attempting to return her back to her relaxed state.

"So you're not running scared now that reality has come calling back."

"Never." She kissed her soundly to seal the deal and buried her face into her neck. "I've left a mark," her voice attempted to sound guilty but it was obvious from the tightening of her nipples against Sarah's own that she was definitely not sorry.

"It's alright. I like it."

"Now, my _dear _O'Brien, I guess for now I'll need you to dress me," she stretched up aware of the audience that was following her movements. "After all, the sooner I'm dressed and fed the sooner you can get me back into bed, no?" she laughed at the incredulous look her maid threw at her before jumping up herself to fetch her clothes. It wasn't going to be an easy affair, but love like theirs never was. She was willing now to chase after all the happiness she could get in a world where life ended in the blink of an eye. Now that she had Sarah O'Brien she wasn't letting go.

* * *

**Thanks for reading - Q**


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